Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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