the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
