who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
