If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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