I smell stomach acid.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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