laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
