is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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