she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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