I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
