A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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