Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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