I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
