census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
