next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
