um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
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I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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