so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
