I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
