Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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