I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
