I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
