Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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