Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
