I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
