Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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