Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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