Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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