Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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