420 ftw
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
