Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
