My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
