Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she pinky promised me she was 18
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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