So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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