Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
