As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
