you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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