I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
