TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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