please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
