You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.