BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
