whats a polygalesbian?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.