He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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