school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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