awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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