Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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