we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
its liver damage thursday
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
