No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
In America we eat man semen.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize