Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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