I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize