she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.