She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
there is another microwave in the elevator.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
