He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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