help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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