Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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