It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
