call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We are all done wearing pants today
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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