i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
