Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
