i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize