were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
