he thought i was a dude.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize