I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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