i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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