I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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