A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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